When saying, “JuSt dO wHat I sAy!” doesn’t work.

As coaches, we have all had a client who continues to practice behaviors — such as excessive drinking or snacking — that keeps them from the progress they say they’re after. On the surface, it may seem like self-sabotage, but underneath it’s likely an attempt at solving a problem you (and possibly even they) are unaware of.

Helping clients bring awareness to a behavior that is holding them back from the results they want will likely be life changing, and after all, that’s what we’re here for.

So, let’s get started.

It is very important to understand that…

All human behavior is an attempt to cope with or solve a problem.

Sometimes, it’s straight forward:

When you’re hungry (the problem), you eat (the behavior).

But often, it’s more complicated than that because usually as the coach, you see the behavior, but you don’t know about the problem.

For instance…

… when you snap at your partner for asking a totally harmless question about tonight’s dinner (the behavior), it’s usually not because of the question being asked. It’s likely due to something else, like that irritating email you just got from your boss that you haven’t had a chance to calm down from (the problem).

… when your seemingly hyperactive nephew acts out at the bbq (the behavior), it’s because he’s trying to release pent-up energy from being stuck inside all day (the problem).

… or, when your mom drops in on you unannounced to do your laundry long after you’ve reached adulthood (the behavior), it’s likely not because she’s bored on a Sunday and wants to fold your drawers. She probably wants to feel needed, and currently, she’s not (the problem).

Similarly, unwanted eating behaviors are frequently related to a deeper problem that doesn’t start with the food.

This presents a challenge, since many coaches focus exclusively on food through meal plans, macros and calories. Which, intuitively, makes sense.

As the coach, you want to make sure your client is getting the nutrition they need. So the two of you agree that they’re going to eat more protein and veggies.

But your client’s food log show a whole lot of ice cream … and not much of anything else that was agreed upon.

Last time I checked, ice cream wasn’t a protein or a veggie.

So, what happened? Why didn’t your client do what they agreed to do? Probably because…